


Endless Rebirth, Endless Insanity

by Kage_Musha



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Also Bilbo is Thorin-sexual, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anchor!Bilbo, Bilbo Is Awesome, He puts up with a lot, Just... everything Alternate Universe can end up in this, Multi, Multifandom Blowout, So all universes are meshing together and looping through time, Yggdrasil is 'glitched', time loops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3577089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kage_Musha/pseuds/Kage_Musha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's rather shocking for one to wake up as their fifty-year-old self while on a ship to the Undying Lands. Waking up as yourself fifty years in the past (about a week before a certain wizard and Company show up on your doorstep), is even more so. Now all Bilbo has to do is keep everyone from dying again. </p><p>Then, he wakes up again, same time, same place, and has to keep the Company from dying AGAIN.</p><p>And he wakes up again... and again... and ag- Okay, does he HAVE to do this?!</p><p>(Alternate Fandoms will only be listed after multiple uses)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up and Freaking Out

**Author's Note:**

> Transitions between Loops are preceded by a three-line break
> 
> Time-skips in the same Loop are preceded by a two-line break

**So... This idea came to me after the recent 'Hobbit' craze, and my eventual love of this fandom...**

**...and hate towards the movie for just leaving all these sad deaths and loose ends.**

**In fact, most of the fandom ends up being a _bit_ too serious when it comes to 'The Hobbit'.**

**So, I will now take the time to go ahead and start something.**

**I feel like it's going to crash and burn.**

**It all depends on how well it's received.**

**And on how easy it is for me to write.**

**Other than that, I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

**I do not own 'The Hobbit', both Peter Jackson movies and Tolkien books.**

**I also do not claim ownership of the original idea of 'Time Loops'**

* * *

...

..

.

It was rather worrying to wake up at age 50 again.

Last Bilbo remember, he had been sailing with his dear nephew, Frodo, to the Undying Lands of the Elves. He had lain down on the bed to catch some well-needed rest...

And now he was back in Bag End, in the prime of his life.

He was honestly a bit concerned the sea air did something to his head.

When he checked the calendar (after running about his smial for about an hour, in an utter panic), Bilbo nearly fainted dead in shock at the date.

It was exactly a week before Gandalf had first arrived outside his door.

He knows.

He recorded the date.

All his senses were telling him that  _yes, this_ is  _real, Bilbo_ , but his mind refused the sheer possibility of this happening to him.

Why would Yavanna be so  _cruel_ to him?!

He had no desire whatsoever to see his dwarves, his  _Company_ , go gallivanting off to their deaths!... _Again_!

Well! If he was being forced to do this again, then he might as well do it  _right_!

...

..

.

It ended in disaster.

Honestly, Bilbo was rather surprised at the different outcome to his adventure.

It probably didn't help that the dwarves never fully trusted him and his bizarre ability to be in the exact right place at the exact right time. If they  _had_ trusted him like they first did, Thorin might've listened to him when he tried to break his friend free from the ensnarement of the dragon-sickness.

Instead, Thorin remained holed up in his Mountain...

The dwarves of the Iron Hills fell at the hands of the orc hoarde...

And Thranduil barely managed to escape with a little under half of the soldiers he brought.

Bilbo, on the other hand, was caught in the arm by a stray arrow. Apparently, the Ring's enchantment didn't seem to cover 'arrows sticking out of your damn body!', so it was rather easy for a slightly-more-intelligent-than-normal orc to dispose of him quickly afterwards.

And Bilbo re-awoke in Bag End.

...

..

.

The second 'do-over' was somehow even worse than the first.

Instead of simply hiding his knowledge and working overtime to keep his friends from dying (whilst pretending that  _yes, I just_ happened  _to pull Kili out of the path of that arrow_ ), Bilbo waited until the entire Company had gathered and explained his 'dilemma' to them.

He was immediately denounced as a lunatic, and the Company left within the hour.

The last anyone heard of the thirteen dwarves, they had been caught by three trolls on the outskirts of Rivendell.

There were no survivors, save Gandalf.

...

..

.

By the tenth 'Rebirth', as he began to call it, Bilbo had quite enough of this insanity, thank you very much!

He was almost positive some deity up above was attempting to play a practical joke on his soul for the rest of eternity!

It was rather a shock to be 'Reborn' the ninth time, and to have... *ahem*...  _different parts_.

It was just hi- _her_ , though.  _She_ was the only one to have been 'altered' in such a way.

She didn't even bother to try and change the outcome of the quest, save for keeping Thorin and his nephews alive.

Which actually worked out in her favor, for once!

The only problem was how awkward it was once Thorin attempted to court her.

And she accepted.

And they got married in a year.

Bilbo was rather confused about the whole ordeal now, even though he was completely fine with it during that  _particular_ 'Rebirth'.

It didn't matter now. He didn't think of Thorin in that way at all, and they would be nothing more than friends this time around.

Of course, his stunning blue eyes  _did_ always make it difficult for Bilbo to think clearly.

...

..

.

It was official.

Bilbo was 'Thorin-sexual'.

He wasn't going to say he enjoyed male company more, oh not at all!

It's just that he found himself extremely attracted to Thorin himself. No one else.

It seemed mostly proven during the twenty-second 'Rebirth', in which Bilbo was the only member of the company (save Gandalf) to have remained male.

It was  _definitely_ proven when the whole of Middle-Earth seemed to switch genders during the forty-eighth Rebirth.

Both times, Bilbo and Thorin ended up falling for each other.

And getting married.

They also happened to do the same in most of the other Rebirths, save for a few times earlier when Bilbo was still confused about everything in general.

By now he was completely sure about what he wanted in life.

And by Yavanna, he wanted  _Thorin_.

...

..

.

The first major change happened during his hundredth Rebirth.

He had almost been planning to do a small celebration before the Quest, simply because he doubted any other living being managed to live a hundred lifetimes.

Oh dear.

He was really turning into a Mad Baggins, wasn't he?

Ah, well, living gets boring after a while; he figured he might as well see how badly things could get out of hand, if only to get a kick out of it.

Anyways! He had gone through the whole meal with the Company, but noticed something odd about the archer of the group.

Kili seemed to be troubled, Bilbo saw, and his brother was utterly confused as to why. For the first time he's seen these two together, Kili wasn't telling Fili his worries.

That usually meant something bad.

He managed to catch the two siblings before they went to their sleeping quarters.

"Ah, Fili and... Kili, yes?" Receiving a nod in response, Bilbo continued. "Neither of you would mind if I asked Kili to come a talk for a while, would you?" Sharing a confused glance, Kili shrugged in affirmation, and Fili did the same.

"No problem with it, Master Bog-Baggins..." Kili corrected himself quickly. Fili nodded his approval as well, and continued on his way while Bilbo led Kili out into the backyard to his garden. The sat side-by-side in the cool patch of earth, far enough away so not to have an eavesdropper.

"I noticed you seemed troubled when you first walked in... Care to explain?" Kili scoffed at the request.

"You'll think me mad..." Bilbo raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Oh really? Tell me, did you happen to die at the Battle of the Five Armies, only to wake up, fresh and new, only a week ago?"

Kili's mouth dropped open, and he stared at the Hobbit in shock.

"B-B-Bilbo?! Y-y-you're here too?!" Bilbo nodded with a warm smile, and Kili practically tackled the Hobbit with a hug.

"I w-was s-so  _worried_! I thought I w-was going m-mad!" Kili sobbed into Bilbo's shoulder, who patted his friend's back comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Kili; I felt the same my first time through." Kili's head shot up.

"You mean, you've done this  _before_?!"

"Oh yes! This actually happens to be the centennial of my first 'Rebirth', as I've called it!" Bilbo exclaimed cheerfully. Kili seemed to turn white as a ghost, and remained frozen in shock.

"A hundred times?" he whispered hoarsely. Bilbo nodded solemnly.

"'Fraid so, dear wolf. Luckily, there are some 'Wild Cards' you could say, that keep everything from getting monotonous."

"What do you mean?" Bilbo cringed.

"Erm... well... we can discuss that later. For now, what  _exactly_ is our plan for this go-around, now that you're here besides me?" Kili hummed in thought.

"Well... not getting shot with that Morgul Arrow is a good start!" Bilbo chuckled warmly.

"I'd have to agree, my little wolf."

"Why are you calling me that?"

"What?"

"'Little Wolf'? Only family knows about that little nickname..." Bilbo suddenly flushed a bright red, and began to stutter.

"N-N-never you m-mind!" Kili's grin suddenly vanished at the forbidden thought running through his head.

"... _Nooooo_!" Kili gasped. "You... and  _Uncle_?!" Bilbo groaned. "I can't believe it!...should I start calling you 'Uncle Bilbo', now?"

"Shush up, you!"

...

..

.

It wasn't until three Rebirths later did Kili remember again.

"Thank goodness you remember this time!"

"'This time?' You mean you've Rebirthed without me?" Bilbo nodded.

"Have you done the same?" Kili shook his head. "Then, whatever this force is... maybe it'll randomly choose if you go back or not?"

"You've done it all three times since I first joined?" Bilbo nodded,and Kili frowned. "And you were the one to originally start... so maybe it's just you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... let's pretend and say you're, like, the Arkenstone-"

"Horrible example."

" _Let me finish_... So, it's like you're the Arkenstone, alright? There's ever only going to be you and only you for eternity, you get it? Everybody else is probably the random coins and gems that pass through; we'll be there sometimes, but then we're not until we make our way back." Bilbo blinked in surprise.

"That... was actually a good analogy; nice work." Kili sniffed mock-haughtily.

"I do have  _some_ intelligence, thank you very much!" Bilbo snickered alongside Kili for a moment, then they lapsed into silence.

"It does seem as though I have some significance to...  _whatever_ this Rebirthing thing is..."

"How so?" Bilbo grimaced and looked away quickly.

"W-well... you know how many times I Rebirthed, yes?"

"Yes."

"And... and you'd probably understand how very upsetting it was to see you all just... I mean, there were too many times I looked upon y-your body, Kili! You were just... just lying there, and I couldn't do a thing to save you..." Kili's eyes widened as the sickening revelation fell upon him.

"B-Bilbo... y-you can't tell me you tried to... to..." he broke off in horror as Bilbo uncuffed his right sleeve to show a long, jagged scar running up the bottom of his forearm. " _What?_ " he breathed in shock.

"At the time, I didn't notice... but I saw that, the closer I came to... well,  _that_... everything else seemed to just...  _collapse_. As though the world itself couldn't stand on it's own anymore..."

"And when you died..."

"I woke up like this; the scar from my attempt remaining where it was, and a note lying right in front of my face. I can't tell you what it said (probably some sort of enchantment, I'd wager), but the gist of the letter told me to not do that again, or face severe consequences."

"Bilbo... promise me you'll  _never_  do that again...  _ever!_ " Bilbo gave a grim chuckle.

"Trust me, I'm not willing to see what I did again..."

...

...

"We'll need some sort of sign."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the only reason I didn't make a fool of myself the Rebirth after your first was that I caught onto the fact that you weren't...  _disturbed_."

"Oh, gee,  _thanks_..."

"You know bloody well what I mean by that!" Kili snickered before sobering up quickly.

"Maybe I can stitch something into my clothes?"

"There will need to be an explanation to that one; it needs to be something discreet that wouldn't draw the Company's attention, but would be recognizable for anybody to have Rebirthed..."

"So, I'll just call you Mr. Baggins immediately if I'm here. How about that?"

"That will do just fine. Now, what about me?"

"Just plan the dinner instead of letting us run amok like the first time we did this quest; you always work to make sure your guests are well-fed... once you know they're actually coming!"

...

..

.

The second major change occurred during Bilbo's 129th loop, and Kili's 16th loop.

Bilbo woke up in a strange room... which also had iron walls and flashing red lights.

He normally would have panicked at such a wake-up call, but Bilbo had learned (around the 10th time he had to deal with an altered world) that if he focused, he could draw up the memories of his life before he Woke Up. Him and Kili had decided to name it that after realizing that they didn't always be Reborn from a specific time. Suddenly remembering every past life felt like waking after a long dream, so they called their awareness 'Awake'.

In any case, he was rather surprised to live in such an age of technological advancement. Really, telephones and cars and television... it was actually rather astounding to compare it to his original life.

Then he realized he was actually a  _she_.

And  _she_ was also an assassin for some big government section named... S.H.I.E.L.D?

"'Black Widow', eh?"  _she_ mumbled to  _her_ self. "Rather striking title, if I do say so myself."

Then she remembered Clint.

And повесить ее if that wasn't Kili.

Huh... new language.

Well, Bilbo guessed there were some perks to living another life.

She now knew fifteen different ways to kill somebody... with her  _bare fists_.

Natascha Romanoff was  _quite_ an experience, Bilbo decided.

...

...

"You're never without your bow, eh Kili?" Bilbo teased with a straight face. Kili stared at him in amusement.

"It's actually really weird not seeing emotion on your face, y'know?"

"You know me,  _Clint_ , so it shouldn't be that big of a deal," she retorted, adding emphasis on his new container's name. She didn't like referring to a person as a 'container'; they were inside other people! People who had lives!

But there was really no better word for it... **(1)**

"Agent Romanoff! Agent Barton!" Fury barked as he strode into the office. Both agents snapped to attention immediately. "At ease," he allowed, and they relaxed. "I must admit some surprise at hearing you refer to each other as different names... Care to explain?" Bilbo and Kili glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes, suddenly fearful for what could happen.

"W-well... ummm... shit..." Bilbo stuttered.

"Language, Mr. Boggins!"

"Oh my god, shut up. You can't expect me to be completely Natascha all the time, can you? At least you and Barton are like two peas in a pod!"

"I feel like I should take offence to that..."

"And? What're you gonna do,  _Birdbrain_?" Kili nearly swore in outrage.

"You said you'd stop calling me that!"

"Ex _cuse_  me; I'm not here to play 20 Questions!" Fury interrupted in frustration. "One of you explain to me what the  _hell_ is going on!" Bilbo grimaced.

"You'll think us insane, sir..." Fury raised an eyebrow.

"You've quite proven that already, Romanoff. Would you care to show me you're  _not_?"

...

...

Fury leaned back in his chair once Bilbo and Kili were complete, wearing a completely stunned expression (which actually shocked Bilbo and Kili as well; he'd  _never_ worn that expression in the time they and their containers knew him!  _Ever_!).

"Goddamn son-of-a-bitch was right..." Fury breathed. Bilbo frowned.

"I'm sorry,  _who_ was right?" Fury didn't answer her, instead choosing to press a button on his desk.

"Stark."

_*What's up, Long-John Silver?*_

"Come to my office ASAP."

 _*...I was right, wasn't I? HaHA! In your face, Wazowski!*_ Fury was practically snarling in anger.

"Just get over here, now!"

Five minutes later, Iron Man walked through the door.

 _*Well? Two li_ ves, one body?" he asked as his helmet retracted to show his head. Fury nodded, and Tony grinned before practically launching himself at Bilbo and Kili.

"Welcome to the 'Avengers Loop'! I'm Tony Stark, the Anchor here! What loop are you two from?" Bilbo held her hands up in surrender.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tony... what do you mean 'Loop'?" Stark frowned.

"Oh, is this your first time looping?"

"Again... what do you mean 'loop'?" Kili reiterated.

"The whole 'born again' thing? Pretty much every other person you'll meet calls it that."

"So, we literally loop?"

"Back in time, yes."

"...why?" Tony grimaced.

"Huh... when I wanted to meet you two, I didn't expect to be giving a history lesson here..." Bilbo glared at Tony, which always managed to get her point across to the bozo. "O-Of course, what kind of host would I be if I didn't clarify things for you?!" Tony fixed his 'mistake'. Once Bilbo ceased the look, Tony leaned against Fury's desk while he collected his thoughts.

"Okay, first things first: you're going to meet a lot of people. I mean a  _lot_. You'll never forget a face, but I swear I'll never remember a name until they're in my loop again..."

"Focus, Tony," Bilbo snapped.

"Yeah, so lots of people, but we all seem to agree on one thing. The Yggdrasil has a... 'glitch', you could say."

"I'm sorry, the  _what_?"

"The 'World Tree'? It's literally a giant tree that connects each world to the next in some way."

"Are we speaking metaphorically, or literally?" Kili asked.

"Literally. The World Tree is  _literally_ glitching."

"Any ideas why?"

"No clue whatsoever. But a few people who have that sort of 'access' have spread the word that there are steps being taken to prevent the glitch from spreading and to fix the glitch itself."

"And the glitch is causing these 'loops'?"

"No... but the measures taken to prevent the spread of the glitch,  _are_. Each little 'universe' is being put into a 'lock-down' mode for the time being, until everything is back to normal. That's what's causing us to go back in time over and over again."

"What about traveling to other universes? Is that part of the glitch?" Bilbo asked.

"Most likely, yes. The original glitch was causing universes to mesh together, in a way. It usually ended in disaster for some of them, and they've been...  _isolated_ , for the time being."

"So then, what do we do?" Tony just shrugged.

"No one really knows... For the most part, people are just having a blast messing things up in their own and other peoples' loops."

"Why are they doing that?! It'll destroy everything!" Bilbo suddenly snapped out, causing Tony to level a suspecting glare at her.

"...you attempted suicide too, didn't you?" Bilbo turned white as a ghost, and Tony raised his hands placatingly. "It's alright; every Anchor has done it at least once. It's practically been an induction ritual, per say," he joked half-heartedly, but broke off seeing the look on her face. "Look, it's okay to have fun in the loops. The problem is that you, as the Anchor, have to maintain yourself."

"Why?" Bilbo croaked.

"Because the Anchor is literally the structural support of the Loop. They have to keep themselves stable so the Loop remains stable. That's why you're allowed to have some fun once in a while; you can't just do the routine over and over again. It'll break you, and I'm sad to see some Loops disappear because the Anchor couldn't take it anymore." Bilbo chuckled grimly.

"So, no pressure or anything, right?" Tony smirked.

"There shouldn't be. You could probably call this the 'Vacation of the Millenia'!" Bilbo and Kili snorted at the thought, and seemed to cheer up pretty quickly. With all seriousness out of the way, Tony clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Right then! Let's get your Loop recorded into JARVIS, shall we?"

"Wait, JARVIS?!" Tony nodded excitedly.

"Yeah! I managed to figure out a way to keep a permanent database of all the Loops on JARVIS' system! Other tech-guys in other Loops did the same thing, and we're keeping track of any new faces for old, and old faces for new!" Tony suddenly flipped a switch on his suit, causing a little disk to pop out. Setting it on the desk, holograms lit up the air above it, allowing Stark into the database he compiled. "Alright! Name of the Anchor, please!"

"Bilbo Baggins," she answered. Tony seemed rather surprised, but he entered the data.

"Really? 'The Hobbit' Loop finally came in, then?" Both Bilbo and Kili froze in absolute shock, memories of the book from Natascha and Clint's point of view flooding their heads.

"No way..." Bilbo muttered, before she and Kili both fainted. Tony stared down at them in light amusement.

"Not every day you see Natascha faint, huh Scar?" He looked up to see Fury having long-since fainted himself at the information overload Tony gave out."Oh... Welp! Blackmail time it is, then! JARVIS: take photos of all three unconscious victims after I finish... 'redecorating' them!"

...

...

"This is impossible!" Bilbo ranted as he read through the book. "I'd call this plagiarism if I had written it before my Loop's start!" Kili just stared at the pages blankly.

"So... how does this usually happen?" Tony smirked as he held an ice-pack to the shiner Natascha/Bilbo had given him in response to his 'enhancements', as he called them.

"Well... pretty much take anything that's 'fictional' media, and blammo! It's not fiction; it's fact!" He snorted in amusement. "I had a similar reaction once I found out I was a comic-book figure, and that I had several movies made with me as a character."

"But still! To think people are able to record the events of our lives so accurately! It's actually a scary thought..." Tony only shook his head.

"You get used to it after a while... Anyways, what do you two want to do while you're here?" Tossing the book away in a fit of panic, Bilbo slumped down in her seat and shrugged.

"I dunno... What does a person normally do?" Tony smirked evilly, and both Bilbo and Kili felt a chill run down their spines.

"Oh, I'm gonna have to teach you two how to party..."

...

...

Bilbo woke up with a pounding headache.

That was  _the last_ time she'd let Stark give her beer.

Luckily, Natascha's body seemed able to maintain balance no matter how heavily intoxicated she was...

...otherwise Clint would've been shot in the head eight different times.

Hey, just because she was coordinated  _doesn't_ mean she didn't get stupid ideas!

...

..

.

Fifteen loops later, all in their original universe, thankfully, Kili became the happiest dwarf in Middle-Earth.

He woke up to hear Fili having a fit of some sort in their room at some inn they had stopped at on the way to The Shire.

" _No! Get off of me or I'll stick my sword up your-_... Wha-where am I? Is... this is that inn that Kili and I..."

"Fili!" Fili yelped in shock and tumbled backwards as he tripped over the foot of his bed. Kili practically jumped on top of him, and began shaking him and hugging the life out of him. "Oh, I'm so happy you're Looping too! You won't believe it! Bilbo's been living for  _so long_ on his own, and then I joined him, and then we went to some other loop, and now you're Awake, and we can both-" Fili raised his hands in surrender.

"Whoa whoa  _whoa_ , Kee! Slow down! Just... tell me what in Mahal's name is going  _on_!" Kili groaned in annoyance, not wishing to be the teacher.

"So, like, we're living in Time Loops now, okay? Basically, at some random point in the future, we'll go back in time to right... about... five minutes ago, and then everything restarts. You get it?" Fili blinked dumbly as he tried (and failed) to comprehend his situation. "Ugh, look, we'll just have Bilbo explain this to you when we get to his house later."

"Wait, so we're literally going to his house again? Like we did-"

"When we first started this quest, yes, we are."

"...are the three of us the only ones who actually remember?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"...I hope you're not planning on dying this time around."

"I could say the same to you!"

...

..

.

After that, Fili and Kili had Awoken in every Loop together. Sometimes they Woke separately, but they always managed to share the loop by the next Reset.

Of course, they had some...  _interesting_  Awakenings for those Loops...

One time, Kili Woke Up during their run from the first orc pack, and ended up tripping during the middle of it and nearly got his head bit off by a riderless warg. Luckily, Bilbo (who had ample time now to train himself in the art of combat) quickly dispatched said warg with a well-placed throwing knife.

Another time, Fili Awoke while they were holding onto the trees for dear life as more wargs tried to shake them loose. He had unfortunately slipped, and the sound he made after the tree branch smashed him in the chest...

Well, he lost many 'man points' with the Company for that Loop, and Kili and Bilbo for several Loops after. **(2)**

Bilbo wasn't without fault as well, though most of his slip-ups were (luckily) within Loops without Kili and Fili.

But, I mean, come  _on_! Bilbo doubted  _anybody_ could 'go with the flow' when you Wake up to Thorin... *ahem-hrum*-ing you!

I mean,  _really_!

He had the  _best_ technique!]

.

..

...

* * *

**Alright, so this was a short chapter compared to what I _usually_ produce in other works.**

**But that doesn't mean all the chapters of this story will end the same length!**

**Oh, no no _No_!**

**No.**

**Just... just this, I think.**

**I kinda wanted to just get the majority of 'explanations' out of the way, and introduce two Loopers (besides our Anchor) to this Loop.**

**Pretty much everything after this will be crack-fic.**

**A.N. Time~!** **:**

**(1): I _mean_ ,  _I_ have no better word for it... If you have any alternate ideas, just let me know!**

**(2): I shit you not, Dean O'Gorman (role of Fili in Hobbit movies) _actually did this on the set_. You can find it on Youtube in the "Aidan Turner  & Dean O'Gorman Rock & Roll Dwarves Extended" video at about 1:50 (for the whole story behind it)**

 

**So, at this point in time, I'd like to offer my willingness to receive input (like I'm not _always_ willing...)**

**I... have _little_ idea as to what to do next.**

**If there are any dwarves you like to see begin Looping next, I will have a poll up on my FF page. Thorin is out of the question (for now), since I'd like to add more of the Company before I bring him in.**

**For all I know, he'll be the last to actually start Looping.**

**That's the most likely scenario... but I digress.**

**So, Dwarves will be chosen in a poll, and if you have any ideas as to what shenanigans our Loopers will get up to next, just send me a Review for ideas.**

**Other than that...**

**Until next time!  
**

**~ _Kage Musha_**


	2. Coping, Breaking Walls, and Orcs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we deal with: 
> 
> -Some minor angst,  
> -Bilbo breaking everything  
> -Amazing acting skills  
> -Languages that are not spoken  
> -ORCS

**Welp! I got quite a few voters on that poll!**

**Actually rather surprising results... but I digress!**

**I will probably end up adding in our new Looper about halfway through the chapter, so that Fili gets some time in the spotlight.**

**And, speaking of our newest Looper... they... are...**

***drumroll***

**...**

**...**

**...going to remain a mystery!**

***blasted backwards from screams of the audience***

**I-I'm _going_  t-to introduce t-them still, b-but they will remain a m-mystery until they appear... unless y-you were the l-last to vote...**

_**(Pretty much the only reason I'm doing this is because I have a three-way tie at the moment, so I'll hold off until I get to the introduction part, then write in whoever it ends up being.)** _

**A-anyways, here's Wonderwall...**

* * *

**I do not own 'The Hobbit', nor any other fandom that appears in this chapter or any others.**

* * *

_Note: Three-line break indicates a new Loop. Two-line break indicates a time-skip within the same Loop_

* * *

...

..

.

Bilbo was worried.

Well, Thorin was worried, which made Bilbo worried, but he was also worried about the worrying thing himself,  _without_ Thorin's worry being added in.

And the reason the two were worried was Fili and Kili.

Or, at least, what it was they were doing.

Or, more specifically, what it was they were  _not_ doing.

Thorin didn't really have any idea why the two had become so...  _withdrawn_. He figured that, by the time the first few weeks had passed, and the initial awkwardness dissipated, his two nephews would be up to making mischief and getting the rest of the Company to laugh.

Only they didn't.

They remained quiet and solitary for the first few weeks, like expected, but they didn't come out of their shells after.

But worse was their eyes. He had seen those eyes in the soldiers who fought on the fields of Azanulbizar, who lost their home to dragon fire, who suffered at the hands of orcs.

He saw those eyes every day he looked in a mirror.

They were the eyes of a survivor of tragedy.

And, for the life of him, he could not figure out when those two had suffered so badly, or how it had escaped his notice.

...

...

Bilbo sighed heavily as he looked at his- _I mean_ , Thorin's nephews. He had been hoping they would forget about the Battle of the Five Armies, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Kili actually  _had_ forgotten about it for several Loops, but it seemed as though Fili's arrival into Loops brought those memories back. And they came back  _hard_.

Fili, on the other hand, was never one to procrastinate. It seemed his memories were following the trend, and began to plague him only days after Awakening.

Now he had two boys who were tortured by memories of battle and death, and he had no one else to assist him.

I mean, he  _could_  explain things to Thorin, but that was not a path he wanted to travel down again...

In the meantime, it was about time for him to deliver the boys' dinners to them while they watched over the-

Bilbo's train of thought was interrupted when Fili and Kili came trudging through camp, both covered in black blood.

_Oh... oh no..._

"Fili! Kili! What happened?!" Thorin demanded the moment he caught sight of them. "Why are the two of you covered in orc blood?!"

"It's not orc; it's troll. One tried to steal away some of the ponies, but we took him down quickly enough. When his two brethren attempted to avenge him, Kili shot their brains out," Fili stated bluntly. The rest of the Company stared at the two in shock; Thorin himself had his jaw practically on the ground.

"Do you mind if we have some of that soup, Bombur? I'm afraid I got some of their blood on my tongue and I can't get the taste off." Kili asked, completely emotionless. Bombur hesitantly passed over the two bowls he planned on having Bilbo deliver to them.

Thorin caught Balin's eye, and both shared a worried look with each other.

They both knew something had changed between leaving Ered Luin and leaving Master Baggins' house,

and neither had a clue as to what had  _happened_.

Bilbo knew.

And Bilbo needed to talk to a certain scientist the next time their paths crossed.

...

..

.

"Yeah, this happens a lot when a person dies about halfway through the original timeline..." Tony hummed thoughtfully as he leaned on his Tower's balcony.

"I kinda suspected that myself, thank you. What I'm  _asking_ is what you suggest we do," Bilbo bit back from  _her_ place next to him. Whether the 'moderators' heard her silent prayer or it was mere luck/coincidence didn't really matter to Bilbo, since the next Loop she went through was the Avengers' Loop.

Neither Fili nor Kili joined her in this Loop, so this was perfect for her to gather some information.

It was technically her job, since she was Natasha again.

"...we call them 'Vacation Loops'."

"Sorry, what?"

"It's the first solution that comes to mind when dealing with situations like this. Basically... you don't give a fuck about how things are  _supposed_ to happen, and just do what you want for the entire Loop. It's meant to be a complete break from any stress and worries, so that you can deal with your own problems without worrying about your Loop's."

"That's... rather hard to plan for the three of us. I doubt we'd get very far by pony before the rest of the Company caught up."

"Well, even though they're a vacation, V-Loops are rather hard to plan out to make sure  _everything_ goes right. It doesn't matter; I only said it's a  _possibility_." Tony shrugged, before straightening up and turning around to calmly walk back inside.

"So, what are your other suggestions?" Bilbo called over her shoulder.

"Get them a therapist. Other than that, I've got nothin' else... save actually removing memories, which is  _not_ recommended when it comes to Loopers." Tony responded before he re-entered the Tower.

...

..

.

Bilbo sat up with a startled gasp. He looked around quickly to gather his surroundings, but his movements stirred the lump sleeping in bed next to him.

"Bilbo... love..." a voice groaned sleepily; a voice Bilbo recognized all too well. "Something th'matter?"

"N-nothing, Thorin... I think I had a bad dream..." A head poked it's way out of the covers, and Thorin looked up at him with half-lidded eyes.

"D'you need t'talk 'bout it?" he slurred. Bilbo shook his head, and laid back down.

"No... it was just a dream..." He quickly racked his memories for what had differed this Loop.

Nothing much different from other Loops where he and Thorin fell in love... except  _apparently_  male Hobbits could become child-bearers.

And Frodo was his and Thorin's son.

That was...  _new_... to say the least...

"Thorin?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

"Have you noticed Fili and Kili's... 'mood change', lately?" Thorin's eyes slowly opened until he was staring at his lover intently.

"Yes... I have. I noticed it weeks after the Battle, but it seemed to have gone away with the arrival of Frodo... At least, I assumed it did..."

"I'm afraid time isn't going to help them..." Bilbo sighed.  _'If anything, time makes it worse,'_ he thought to himself. "In any case, I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

"What if... no, it's a silly idea..."

"What is it?"

"Well... I was wondering if you'd abject to me spending some time with them."

"I would never."

"Even if said quality time would be spent out of the Mountain?"

"...erm..."

"As a hunting trip of sorts?"

"Hunting? You never go hunting?"

"It'd just be the three of us, out in the forest, just spending a week or so together. Even though we've lived together as a family for a few years now, I'm afraid the boys have yet to truly accept me as family."

"Well, now you are just being over-dramatic, love."

"'Over-dramatic'?" Bilbo huffed in irritation. "If you want over-dramatic, I suggest taking a look at that 'Tomi' adviser of yours who just so happened to delay the last meeting by an hour because  _a miner bumped into him on accident_. You could hear him chewing into that poor dwarf from the  _throne room_! I swear, the only thing that kept Bofur from breaking Tomi's neck-"

"Alright, you have made your point!" Thorin groaned. "Honestly, people talk about the stubbornness of dwarves; I assume they have yet to meet a hobbit, or there would be  _quite_ a change of tone!"

"Says the dwarf who refused to give Thranduil the white gems even after he assisted in the battle."

"He is a pompous ass! And I know for a  _fact_  you agreed with me on that!"

"Well, someone being an ass does not justify  _us_ being alike in manner."

"...I seem to have forgotten our original topic of conversation."

"So have I."

"...well, I think you wanted to convince me of something..."

"Hmmm, was I?"

"...I'll just say that, whatever it is you wanted of me, you can do as you please." Bilbo gasped excitedly.

"Oh, brilliant! So, you don't mind taking care of little Frodo for the week I'm gone with the boys?"

"Wait, what?"

...

...

"We need to talk," Bilbo began.

"And what a fine time and place to do so, Uncle!" Kili replied with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well, Tony suggested it to me." Kili's smile vanished as he suddenly grew quiet at Bilbo's words. Fili, on the other hand, was just confused.

"Um, 'Tony'?" he asked.

"Yes. He was the one who explained the entire Looping business to me and Kili a few-hundred Loops ago." His gaze returned to focus on Kili, and his face saddened.

"Kili... can you tell me what's bothering you?" Kili only huffed.

"There's no point..." he stated morosely. "We'll reset in a couple decades, I'll show up a Loop or two later, and nothing will have changed with everyone else... It's only us who change, Uncle! No one else changes, and we have to live with it  _forever_!" His voice rose in volume. "I'll have to sit by and watch as everyone around me dies again and again, and I'm forced to see their dead bodies over and over! And when shit resets, I'll remember everything, and they remember  _NOTHING_!" he finally screamed in anger. He took a few breaths in after his loud exclamation, and realized Bilbo was silently crying. "B-bilbo?"

"Oh, Kili..." Bilbo sniffed. "You... you have no idea who you  _sound_ like when you say those things..."

"Wha- Who are you talking-"

"I swore to myself I'd never speak of it again. Just realize that... that, while it feels like a curse, it also is a blessing, of sorts. We get the chance to live with our loved ones forever, you know; we fix our mistakes, we grow old, we die... and after the Reset, we get to fall in love all over again." He gave a short laugh. "It's even a bit entertaining to see your partner realize you practically know them better than they know themselves..." He quickly stepped forward and engulfed his nephew-in-law in a hug.

"I'm not sure if I was the only one given a second chance, Kili, but you must stay strong. I don't know how I'd deal with our eternity if you... if y-you..."

It was ironic, Bilbo thought to himself later, that he was the one to break down when it was Fili and Kili he had been trying to help.

"Bilbo..." Kili breathed as the two slumped to their knees in the middle of their hug. Fili quickly joined them, trying to offer what little comfort he could to the more experienced Loopers.

"You don't even realize how lucky you two are..." Bilbo sighed. "You have someone to  _talk to_ , who understands  _exactly_ what you're dealing with, and can help you get through this endless insanity...

"I hope you understand you don't have to go through this alone, boys. You have each other, and you have me."

...

..

.

Fili's eyes opened slowly, and he quickly shut them again.

He groaned in pain at the bright white of the room he was in, giving him a massive headache to deal with.

***Good Morning! You have been in suspension for -50- days. In compliance with State and Federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center, MUST be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.***

_'Um... what?_ _'_

***You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor.***

***BRRZZZ-BRRRZZZZ!*** Fili practically jumped out of his skin, and quickly looked down at the floor.

***Good! You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling.***

***BRRZZZ-BRRRZZZZ!*** Fili, a little more used to the sound, just looked up at the ceiling. He wondered about the purpose of the metal track running along a portion of said ceiling, but the voice interrupted his thoughts.

***Good. his completes the Gymnastics portion of your Physical and Mental Wellness exercise.***

_'That... did not prove_ anything _!'_ Fili almost screamed in his head.

 ***There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.*** Fili looked around for a bit before finding a small painting on the wall hanging on the other side of his bed. Once he walked over to it, the voice started up again.  ***This is Art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art.***

 ***BRRRRZZZZ-BRRRRZZZZ!*** Fili just stared at the small, painted scene of a lakeside mountain. He could hear a clicking sound somewhere around him, almost like a timer of some sort. When it finished, the voice returned.

***You should now feel mentally reinvigorated.***

_'I don't!'_

***If you feel that staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance...***

_'No,_ duh _!'_

***...reflect briefly on this Classical music.***

The sound of violins and a glockenspiel began pouring into the room, making Fili slap his head in utter frustration. He jumped again when the music was stopped by another buzzer.

 ***Good. Now please return to your bed.*** The only problem with that statement was that Fili was not tired. Unfortunately, there was literally nothing else to do in his 'room'. The television wouldn't turn on, the drawers held nothing in them, and the door outside was locked tightly. With nothing else in mind, Fili sighed before shuffling over to his bed and laying down.

"Within the first two minutes I know you, I've decided I hate you," he grumbled at the ceiling before closing his eyes.

...

...

***Go-zz-Morning! You have b-b-been in suspension for -9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-***

_*Knock-knock-knock*_

"Hello! Is anybody in there?!" Fili jumped at the new voice, and grinned wide at recognizing it to be an almost perfect match. He ran to the door and threw it open, and yelled, "Bilbo!"

Or at least he tried to.

First off, he couldn't speak. It wasn't like he forgot  _how_ or his throat had been damaged... or maybe it was... but he just  _couldn't speak._ At all. It's like his brain forgot how to make his vocal chords worked.

Secondly, that was  _not_ Bilbo at the door. Bilbo was a hobbit, with curly, orange hair and large, furred feet, and the constant smell of Old Toby about him.

The  _thing_ in front of him was... an orb.

"Fili!" said orb exclaimed. "Oh, thank Yavanna you're... well, you're not  _really_ alright, but... Well, anyways! A-are you... okay? No, don't answer that; I'm sure you're fine; plenty of time to recover-"

***Please prepare for Emergency Evacuation.***

"O-oh, okay, um, stay calm! Don't worry, I'll... um... I'll get us out of here! ...somehow..." 'Bilbo' was rolling along the metal track attached to the ceiling, where he then entered a sort of chamber above the room. "J-just stay calm, and don't move, and I'll get us out of here in a jiffy!" Just before he completely vanished, he had one last piece of advice.

"Oh, you  _might_ want to hang onto something, just in case I do this right."

Then the room started shaking.

Bilbo suddenly reappeared above him.

"According to my... database? Memories? I don't really know. All I know is that... um, most test subjects, do experience some, um, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under, for  _quite_ a lot longer, and it's not out of the question, that you might have a  _very_ minor case, of... serious brain damage. But don't be alarmed! Or, if, uh, you  _do_ feel alarmed, try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage!" Fili just stared up at Bilbo. "Do... uh, do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Is any of this getting through?" Fili quickly signed out a phrase in Iglishmek.

"'You... suck... at... giving... bad... news... Bilbo.' ...Well ex _cuse_ me, have  _you_  ever had to tell someone they have brain damage! Why are you using Iglishmek, by the by?"

_"Can't talk. Must be... 'long sleep'. 'Head injury'."_

"Hmmm..." Bilbo hummed. "It'll be difficult to use terms made in an old world in a new one... Didn't Kili teach you some words he made up for Iglishmek?" Fili scoffed, and gave Bilbo a look that clearly said,  _'Are you seriously asking me that question?'_ "Good point... it  _is_ Kili after all..." A loud siren began sounding all around them.

***All Reactor Core Safeguards are now non-functioning. Please prepare for Reactor Core meltdown.***

"Ooohhhh,  _that_ doesn't sound good..."

_"You think?"_

...

...

"Okay! Almost there!" Bilbo called down.

 _"You're destroying,_ everything _!"_ Fili signed, though Bilbo wasn't around to see it, so it was more like he said nothing at all. The walls around him were practically non-existent at this point, and Bilbo was moving the entire room through a maze of giant boxes. Directly in front of them was a giant brick wall.

"On the other side of that wall is one of the old 'Testing' tracks! There's a piece of equipment in there, that we're gonna need to get out of here! I-I think this is a docking station!"

_'It says 'Docking Station' with arrows pointing below. Is he gonna set us down?'_

Bilbo chose to ram the wall in question with the room.

"Good news: that is  _not_ a docking station! So, there's one mystery solved. Uh, I'm gonna attempt a, um, 'Manual Override'; could get a bit technical. Hold on."

***CR-BANG!***

"Almost there! Remember; you're looking for a gun that makes holes! ...Not bullet holes, bu- Don't worry, you'll figure it out! Seriously, do hold on."

***CR-SMASH!***

Fili nearly went flying through the newly-made hole in the wall, but was able to grab onto the bed to stop himself.

"There we go!" Fili looked up murderously to see Bilbo looking as smug as possible at his 'accomplishment'.

 _"I'm never letting you pilot_ anything _ever again."_

"Oh, come  _on_! I wasn't that bad... was I?"

_"You practically destroyed everything between where we started and where we are now."_

"... I did, didn't I? I think I'm... having difficulties managing myself as a robot; can't tell which circuit makes me talk, and which one makes my eye pop out..."

...

..

.

_(Bilbo Loop #207; Kili Loop #51; Fili Loop #17)_

It wasn't until the Misty Mountains that Bilbo realized something was different with another member of the Company.

As he reviewed his memories for this Loop (after Waking during the rainy trek in the mountains and falling off the side of the cliff before having to be rescued by Thorin  _again_ ), he saw Fili and Kili being especially worried, since, being a rarer Loop, he Woke later than them.

But it wasn't just them.

He had noticed someone else acting slightly strange, and he was hoping his next little 'test' would prove whether they were Awake or not.

So, in the wee hours of the morning, when everybody else was sleeping and Thorin was 'sleeping', Bilbo quietly got up off his bedroll to go walk outside for a bit of fresh air... before he fell into the pits with Gollum.

"Where are ya goin'?" a voice 'whispered' behind him. He turned to see Bofur, who was on watch for now, look up at him worriedly.

This was where acting skills came in handy, which he earned after many Loops of playing the 'weak little Hobbit'.

"I-I'm going back to Rivendell," he  _actually_ whispered back.

"You can' just go!"

"You heard Thorin; I'm not cut out for this..."

"But we need you, Bilbo!"

Ah. That was what he had been waiting for.

"Oh really? And how, pray tell, am I supposed to be useful in Battle?" Bofur's eyebrows crinkled in confusion at the emphasized word.

"You... how could you know 'bout tha'?"

"You tell me; you're not supposed to know either."

Unfortunately, the goblins hiding in the mountain decided now was the best time to release the trap-door.

...

..

.

Bofur groaned as he lay back heavily, clutching his head as though he had a headache. Bilbo sat in front of him, and Fili and Kili on both sides.

"This is jus'too much information, mate..." Kili patted his shoulder sympathetically from his place next to the dwarf.

"We had similar reactions when we woke up; it gets better with time, I promise." Bofur snorted out a laugh.

"Well, we got ourselves plenty of  _that_ , eh?" Fili laughed at this, shortly followed by Kili. "So, b'sides our memories, what else... 'Resets' with us?" Bilbo hummed in thought.

"Ummm... nothing really, save my skills with a blade. Oh, and languages!"

"Languages?"

"Yeah!" Kili nodded emphatically. "Bilbo knows Common, Sindarin, Khuzdul, Ancient Khuzdul, something called 'Hobbitish', Black Speech and Orkish, and that weird dialect of the Easterners-"

"Wait, y'know Black Speech  _and_ Orkish?!"

"Yes."

"B-but why?!" Bilbo smirked.

"It's just so  _fun_ to see the orc's stupid faces when I insult them in their own language. It's like they don't know whether to be shocked, offended, impressed, or amused!" Bofur snorted with laughter.

"Ha! That's a riot! So, then, what's Hobbitish?" Bilbo groaned in exasperation.

"It's not very pleasant... Tell me, do you know the phrase, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?'"

"Yeah..."

"Well, that pretty much serves as justification for the creation of Hobbitish."

"Y'mean... ya don't speak, but ya do?" Bilbo sighed in exasperation.

"It's like Iglishmek... but so very complicated that- I'm just going to stop right there, or this  _will_ get out of control." **(1)**

...

..

.

Bilbo was running for dear life out of the cave his group was inhabiting. He heard calls behind him, asking him where he was going, but he didn't stop to acknowledge their yells.

He knew there were only three people on Middle Earth who could possibly help him.

He just had to wonder if there was another Bilbo with them.

...

...

"You're..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Kili..." Bilbo grumbled.

"But you're-"

" _Not. Talking._ " Thorin pushed himself to the head of the group.

"Well you should start talking! You came to us in surrender; what would stop us from killing you here and now?" Bilbo quirked an eyebrow.

"First off, that's no way to treat your prisoners. Secondly, I want to talk with your Halfling; that'll get you answers." Said hobbit stepped forward, trembling in his boots, and Bilbo took a moment to marvel at his reflection.

Well, if he weren't the way he is now, it would've been a reflection.

"W-w-why do you w-w-wish to speak t-to me?" his doppelganger asked with fear.

"You have no cause to fear, hobbit." He heard several snorts of derisiveness behind him, but he didn't pay them any mind. "I just want you to ask me a few questions." Bilbo, the poor soul he used to be, blinked with utter bewilderment at his request.

"U-ummm... w-w-what kind of q-questions?"

"Anything about you." By now, Bilbo #2 wasn't the only one absolutely confused by his wishes.

"Are- are you actually  _mad_?!" Dwalin asked.

"I am of completely sane mind, thank you very much Master Dwalin!" If he was surprised Bilbo #1 knew his name, he didn't show it. Bilbo #2, on the other hand, decided he might as well give this a go.

"O-okay... ummm... what's my... favorite color?" he asked hesitantly. Bilbo #1 leveled him a look.

"Really? Out of all the inane details you could've asked me for... Never mind, it's brown. Not just brown-brown; you like brown that's dark like freshly-tilled earth" #2 furrowed his brow.

"Why?"

"It reminds you off Belladonna's favorite tea."

"...what was her favorite tea, then?"

"Jasmine."

"No, it was-"

"It was Jasmine tea for a decade or so after she had you, but then it changed to Darjeeling after she went on a trip to who-knows-where. Darjeeling was her favorite tea before the... the Fell Winter." If anyone caught #1's stumble in the sentence, they didn't react to it.

"T-then... um, what is my... favorite meal for Second Breakfast?"

"You usually have two scrambled eggs, served on Rye bread, toasted, and a plate of bacon and tomatoes on the side. And a cup of orange juice." The Bilbo giving questions seemed to have fallen into a state of shock, and began listing off inane questions that, honestly, none of the dwarves could understand the purpose of asking.

"Name ten titles in my library."

"What color is my bedroom walls?"

"What day do I go to market, and who do I usually buy from?"

"Who is Lobelia Sackville-Baggins to me?" Bilbo #1 groaned aloud

"She is the rudest Hobbit you have ever met, who is also quite keen on inheriting Bag End from you, and is, and I quote, 'A lousy, no-good-'"

"-orc-loving pile of horse dung, who-"

"-should never have been born, and is, quite honestly, one of the-"

"-rudest Hobbits on the face of the planet, and-"

"-quite consistently makes me wish to stab myself repeatedly with-"

"-all the knives in my kitchen, then the forks, then the spoons, before-"

"-finally bashing my own head in with my mother's rolling pin and dying-"

"-so that I may receive sweet release from her horrid company." Bilbo #2 shook his head in absolute shock as he finished with a whisper.

"Bilbo, I never knew you had such an...  _imaginative_ mind!" Kili stated jokingly as the rest of the Company stared at the, completely stunned.

"How?! There is no way anyone in Middle Earth would  _ever_ know such things!" #2 practically screamed. "Either you're reading my mind, or-"

"I am actually you." Bilbo #1 finished. "You, but reborn into this world and..." he shuddered with revulsion. "Well, as  _this_." He gestured to his entire body.

"Impossible..." Thorin breathed.

"Um, no. Not really. Ask Kili."

"Leave me out of this!"

"Well how else do you expect me to convince the Company of Thorin Oakenshield to work with-"

"An orc..." Bilbo the hobbit breathed. "I-I'm... an  _orc_."

He fainted, and Bilbo the orc sighed in exasperation.

"Someone help him up, please." Fili suddenly gave a start, and looked up at Orc Bilbo in shock.

"You never told me you'd switch  _species_!"

"I'm as new to this as you are, Fili!" Bilbo snapped back. "You think I  _wanted_ to be a stupid orc?!"

"Well... I kinda expected you to be a goblin, to be honest."

Fili spent the next ten minutes running for dear life from a pissed-off orc Bilbo.

...

...

It took several hours to explain things to the un-Awake and non-Looping members of the Company. And the second Bilbo of this Loop.

The two Bilbo's actually had a hard time looking at each other for a good while. Bilbo the orc was jealous of his doppelganger's luck to retain his form, and was also a little upset at his previous, spineless self.

The other Bilbo was simply uncomfortable with associating himself with an orc. He somehow assumed he did something bad, and was now cursed to be an orc.

It was rather tense between the two, and no one in the Company did anything to help.

Bofur, who had been idly carving out a wooden figurine while watching Bilbo the orc with distrusting eyes, suddenly sat up as though shocked.

"Brother? What's wrong?" Bombur asked worriedly as he stirred the pot over the fire.

"Bilbo!" Bofur cried worriedly. "You never told us you would-"

"I also had no  _idea_ this would happen!" Bilbo snarled, cutting the miner off. "I didn't think I'd turn into an  _orc_ of all things!" Bofur bit his lip ashamedly as he stared at the orc.

"S'not that... I just... thought you'd be a goblin, honestly."

Bilbo's scream of rage startled many birds out of their trees, chased off any predators and prey within a hundred-yard radius, and caused the poor hobbit of the group to faint dead away, again.

* * *

**Holy shit... I finally got this done...**

**I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been... dealing with things since the last posting.**

**Nothing major, but I might have trouble getting each new chapter finished in the future, until things get better.**

**Anyways, A.N. Time:**

**(1): Shout-out to LullabyKnell for their amazingly hilarious fic, A Way Things Should Be. Inspired the little 'Hobbitish' scene a few loops ago.**

**I'd like to take a moment to thank MeddlingMeddows and DreamOfStories! These two have put up with my crazy rambling, and they've given me new ideas for the future!**

**In the meantime, I will be attempting to remove Bofur from the list. Whether or not this screws up the poll entirely is unknown, but I'll fix things if that does happen.**

**So far, Nori is next in line to join! If you don't like that, _vote_! You get three choices, and whichever is in the lead by the time I start writing their intro will be the dwarf for that chapter, and who knows how long  _that's_ going to take!**

**Until next time!**

**~ _Kage Musha_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> URL remains the same. Results are also the same, except all votes for Bofur have disappeared. If anybody voted for Bofur, and has trouble voting for their next favorite, let me know and I'll see what I can do to fix this.

**Author's Note:**

> Poll for the 'Choose Your Dwarves!' thing is right here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/156888/130521909/1/
> 
> I am rather stubborn with this part, but I WILL NOT continue unless I have a definite idea as to who will join the Looping business next.
> 
> You can choose up to three dwarves, and you can see the results after voting, so get to it!


End file.
